La Scimmia Relaxes in a Balinese Spa
Here we are, finally in Indonesia, our first trip to Southeast Asia. This wonderful country offers so much to do and discover. Therefore the idea of going to a spa in Bali came to mind to rejuvenate ourselves from all the excursions we’ve done!
The first days fly by amidst temples, waterfalls, and monkeys strolling undisturbed through the streets of Ubud. One particularly agile monkey even manages to steal the bananas from S.’s pocket!
After trekking up Mount Batur and zipping around on scooters to the rice paddies (driving on the left with a nonchalance that Julia Roberts in “Eat, Pray, Love” could only dream of), we decide to treat ourselves to another typical experience: a relaxing massage at a spa.
We stumble upon a semi-hidden gem; the fact that it doesn’t have a sign and isn’t listed on TripAdvisor doesn’t deter us. On the contrary, we get excited: we’ve surely found the ultimate spa, the locals’ favorite, not one of those tourist traps! Congratulating each other on our shrewdness, we opt for the full 3-hour package, which includes various facial and body treatments.
Smiling girls warmly welcome us (SPOILER ALERT: it’s the only warmth we’ll feel that day!) and lead us to a plain room, not quite matching the romantic image we had in mind (“but who cares, we’re above these touristy frivolities!”). The relaxation massage begins.
Spa in Bali: Chronicle of a Relaxing (But Not Quite!) Massage
These girls have golden hands; I immediately sink into a blissful stupor. After a few minutes, though, I snap out of my trance because I feel a bit chilly. I politely ask if the fan above the massage table can be turned off, and the girl looks at me as if I’ve asked for something outrageous; but she quickly regains her composure, returning to her usual smile, and I prepare to slip back into a comatose state.
However, the more time passes, the more impossible it is for me to relax: without the fan, the situation temporarily improves, but now I’ve been semi-naked and covered in cold cream for almost an hour! I shiver, but finally, the masseuse stops, and I breathe a sigh of relief: the worst is over.
Unfortunately, I’m dead wrong! The smiling girl (now she almost resembles the Joker’s grin) comes back with a body scrub, even colder than the previous cream: I don’t know what to do anymore, I don’t have the courage to stop her! My desperate thoughts turn to S., we’re separated by a curtain, and I don’t hear a peep from him: I fear I’ll find him stiff as a board!
Thankfully, the moment for the shower arrives, and I literally run to the bathroom, eager to warm up. I turn on the water and… it’s freezing!! I wait a minute, two, three, nothing. I realize I can’t deplete all of Indonesia’s water supply, and more importantly, I come to the tragic realization that they evidently don’t have hot water. I soap up and wash as quickly as possible, trying to recall the basics of my meditation course.
End of the frozen massage
Finally, I see S. again: one look is enough to tell me he’s endured hellish torments!
The treatment is over, and the girls, grinning from ear to ear, ask us if we enjoyed it. We don’t have the strength to speak, we just nod and leave dejectedly with our heads down.
Spa in Bali: La Scimmia’s Tips
Only later do we find out that not all spa in Bali have hot water: for them, washing with cold water is normal, and only the most touristy ones are equipped (well, at least we got that part right!).
So, our advice is:
- Take some time to do thorough research;
- Choose the spa that best suits your needs carefully;
- Don’t worry about the cost: countries like Bali offer excellent services at ridiculously low prices for us Europeans!
Every place is different, and travels always have something to teach: we hope our tragicomic misadventure can be helpful to other travelers who want to have a truly relaxing massage!